“WHY BOTHER?” - The Slow Death of Weezer

Look at the above picture. It is Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo wearing a Snuggie, also known as a “blanket with sleeves” or “slanket”, on stage. Weezer are producing their own line of these, called the “Wuggie”. It is perhaps the most rock-and-roll thing ever.

I know this is old news; Weezer announced this new line of merch back in May. I’m just using it as an example to back up my hypothesis that Weezer are in the terminal stages of decline. What I’m essentially saying is that it is time to give up on Weezer.

Remember the Blue Album? Remember Pinkerton? Remember how great things used to be? But after four consecutive disappointments (Green, Maladroit, Make Believe and Red), each seemingly greater than the last, I ask, what is the fucking point?

Look at the names of the songs on the new Weezer record, which has the shit title of Raditude. “I’m Your Daddy”. “Can’t Stop Partying”. “Trippin’ Down The Freeway”. It’s enough to make any reasonable person vomit. ”Can’t Stop Partying”, incidentally, features Lil Wayne “doing a rap” which “sounds so dark, like he’s gonna get shot or something” (for more insightful comments from Rivers follow this link).

I’m tired of having to wade through shit like “Heart Songs” and “We Are All On Drugs” for the increasingly scarce gem such as “Island In The Sun” or “Keep Fishin”. Have you heard the new Weezer single? It’s an act of terrorism. What happened to the band who wrote “Say It Ain’t So” and “Falling For You”? That band is dead.

I’ll listen to Raditude when it comes out, and I might even find a track or two which is vaguely tolerable, but isn’t it about time the denial came to an end. Weezer will never make another good album - so can’t we just let them rest in peace?

Jed. =w=