A Guide To Christmas Drinking From Alcopop Records - The AGCS Label Of The Year

Alcopop Records are great for a number of reasons: they’re home to a legion of great acts (Stagecoach, My First Tooth, Screaming Maldini, Johnny Foreigner, Katie Malco, Jumping Ships, and many more), they have lots of great ideas (Frisbee EPs, Scarves, Photo Albums), and they know how to throw a party (see here and here). This year I’ve managed to see all the acts mentioned above (apart from Katie Malco) and they’ve all been brilliant; but bands alone do not a great label make, and it’s the community feel of Alcopop which makes it the AGCS label of the year. We’re massive fans of all they do, and so naturally we wanted to get them involved in our Christmas Calendar.

As mentioned above, Alcopop know how to throw a good party, so with Christmas fast approaching who better to ask for advice on getting through the slew of work dos and family gatherings? Here, then, is label boss Jack Pop’s Guide To Christmas Drinking:

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

That’s because punters, both bold and abashed

Had left their warm homestead to go out and get smashed

So the poem goes, or something similar… And because Jed loves a flimsy Christmas pun and our label is incepted (in some form at least) from those great youthful days down in the town park with smuggled bottles of Lemon Hooch in hand – here is the Alcopop! Guide to Christmas drinking.

It all starts on the 23rd. Downing filing cabinets, pens, guitars, mail-orders or whatever your profession of choice – for once there’s a great excuse to shed those shackles of responsibility… But the family are rapid approaching, you may have been coerced back to your home-town where all the people you didn’t like much X years ago have just become more distant and boring – so obviously you turn to booze…

Ideally I should have asked The Social Club (who recently released an EP called ‘For Drinking’) or consistently the most boozy band on the label, My First Tooth (many a team of young musical bucks have tried to out-drink these grizzled old stagers and failed – some even split up because of it) - but as they’re not available/too drunk, I’ll use our consistent record of having at least one band member/me barred from each festival showcase we’ve done ever (hello The Great Escape and ejection from our own showcase for the drunken provocation of stage diving - oops) and step up to the plate…

Each a Christmas drink, and a festive hit to go with it!

Mulled wine/cider

The classic festive tipple, only really acceptable at this time of year, which makes you feel all warm inside, and pleased knowing a lovely Christmas is at hand. If possible drink in the car (as a passenger of course) to Driving Home for Christmas by Chris Rea

Jagerbomb

The modern Christmas classic! Don a pair of faux reindeer antlers with flashing nose (much better than those santa hats), hammer the Jagerbombs in a strong indie club safe in the knowledge that you’re riding the Christmas vibe as it was inteneded. Dancing to Christmas is Awesome by Reuben no doubt! New year, make yours a reverse!

Premium lager/cider combo

A couple of lagers before moving on to the refresher cider course (is it just ‘cos I’m getting old I do this?) is brilliant. You like them every other day/week of the year, so why should it be any different at Christmas. Much like the Fountains of Wayne who proved it was business as usual when they dropped the utterly superb (I Want An) Alien for Christmas… and let’s be fair… Who doesn’t?

Hooch Lemon

Full of summery overtones and a cheeky self-indulgent nod to Alcopop! output, this is such a positive way to enjoy Christmas and the festive furore that’s enlivening the senses all around! Slap on the headphones, and jive to Restless Hearts and Silent Pioneers by Alcopop! favourites Screaming Maldini

Hastily cobbled together Christmas Cocktail

You know it’s over-indulgent and waaaaay over the top, but it’s Christmas so you’re going to do it anyway. A must drink for any time someone remembers Earth Song by Michael Jackson was Xmas no. 1 and sluices over to the jukebox to relive an old classic…

Cheap Whisky (straight)

Maybe you’ve had a shit year, you’ve lost your job or something – and to cheer yourself up you’ve popped home to see old pals and relive those old times again. Unfortunately you’ve run into a bleak ex-girlfriend who’s now cornered you with tales of woe and talk of feelings. Soundtracked by The Happiest Christmas Tree by Pete the Pub Landlord, an abortion of an attempt for Christmas number 1 that sold fewer than 100 copies and stung said Pete for several tens of thousands… Still, there’s always next year… I couldn’t find a video for this. It’s that shit!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/1999/dec/12/life1.lifemagazine7

(After a bit of searching I found this article which claims he spent FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS ON IT! I also found his Facebook page, so if you want to petition for a re-release… - Jed)

And if it all goes well, then you can finish up on this old undisputed Christmas classic. Not only because Kirsty McColl was fucking awesome but because it endures generations and brings everyone together – all in the mood for boozing… And we’ll drink to that! I’ve never spent Christmas Eve in a drunk tank, but I’m pretty sure Ross My First Tooth has…. Have a good ‘un!

Jack Pop