How to appreciate music; the most pretentious guide I can muster.

Rule 1.
You can’t hear it all.
No matter how many hours and external hard drives you have, you’ll never get round to an encyclopedic knowledge of every song ever written. so, I suppose rule 1.1 is, don’t fret it if you haven’t heard every song someone else has. But don’t confuse ‘can’t’ with ‘can’t try’.  

Rule 2.
You like what you like.
Rule 1 is completely ignored by most music enthusiasts. This leads alot of people into digging into the past for whatever was best without thinking enough about themselves. And, I suppose over time and with a little nostalgia, most of the best stuff does shine through.But the fact is though, if it sounds outdated to you, then that’s because it is. Don’t let the many extra years some music has had, the head-start if you will, skew what is and isn’t good for you. Era is nothing. This is important. If it’s good in your ears, it’s good and vice fucking versa. Some Jimmi Hendrix is still the fucking shit, and equally, a hefty amount of Joy Division really isn’t as good as people make out- but that’s just what I like.

Rule 3.
You are not your taste in music.
Your clothes, your style, your facebook profile, your girlfriend; non of it matters. If you’re letting one inform the other you should probably cut it out- all it’s going to do is constrain you to a personal brand that you made for yourself years ago and it’ll only fuck you over. I get that there are scenes, and alot of the time a lifestyle only authenticates and betters a style of music (and I’m not just talking about scenesters) but you should try your best to be transient. Not apprehensive, not apathetic or non committal, just transient. Phases, styles, cultures come and go, and they all better what is ultimately a quest for the perfect song, (jesus, did I type that?) but there’s no such thing- so pitching in any camp is to be on the losing team.

Rule 4.
Preference can’t be wrong, so neither are other people.
I have a couple of friends who love Drum and Bass at the moment. I don’t really respect it as a genre enough and subsequently can fall into thinking these friends are wrong about enjoying it. They’re not. Stepping back, what I saw was a bunch of people who’s intelligence and sanity I respect, having fun, and whilst they had fun and were caught up in it completely, there I was analyzing it all to death. Who is the music fan in this picture? Not me. The music enthusiast maybe, the ‘appreciator’, but not the fan. Should I try harder to like Drum and Bass? No. Should I be a little bit less elitist in future? Yes.

Rule 5.
Music is the fucking shit.

Music cleanses the understanding; inspires it, and lifts it into a realm which it would not reach if it were left to itself.  ~Henry Ward Beecher

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.  ~Victor Hugo

Music is what life sounds like.  ~Eric Olson

I googled these quotes. I found them pretty quickly. They’re all true though. Music really is THAT profound. Above all rules, to appreciate music is to realize that what you have at your fingertips, right now, as you read this on the internet, is access to every torrent of emotion, every unique and odd story, every perfect melody you could ever wish for. This is why Steve Jobs is so rich. This is why a bunch of Swedes are going to jail, because we have access to everything we want right away. Totally spoilt and overwhelmed, in the greatest way, and most of us don’t realize it.

I once overheard two guys on a train, one of them asked the other if he liked the new Green Day single, he replied “I don’t have time to listen to music.” That guy is a dick, and most probably miserable as hell. And also fucking deserves it.

Make music at least twice as important as it is now. More girls will like you. You’ll be instantly sexier. Your wedding will sound better. You’ll have a hobby to speak of. You’ll have something to speak of. Your funeral will be more meaningful. More people will cry. Your memory will be fonder until the end of time (2011).

Make it your companion, not just your soundtrack. This is how you appreciate music, make it your best friend and tie it into every part of your life until it feels like a basic human right. Listen more! Do it until silence feels like a cold shower after a hot day.

A Girl Called Sam will now return to it’s less wanky, less self-righteous normality.

Alistair