REAL-TIME REVIEW: FALSE PRIEST

of Montreal have a new album out today, entitled “False Priest”, and as I’ve only listened to bits of it so far I thought it might be fun to review it on my first proper listen, and capture my minute-by-minute reaction to it. Below, then, is my real-time review of the new record from Kevin Barnes and co.

00:00 - Opening with a few shakes of tambourine, it’s very quickly business as (un)usual, with Barnes breaking out in his ridulous falsetto after, oh, three seconds.

00:30 - The difference in production is already noticible. Jon Brion helped Barnes produce this album, whereas all previous of Montreal records were pretty much hand-crafted by Barnes. Is it better? Not sure.

01:45 - “Abstract blackmail domination spasm”? Lyrically seems like of Montreal are still mad as a bag of hammers. 

03:00 - Something about this song, I Feel Ya Strutter just doesn’t feel right. The chorus is nowhere near as memorable as it should be.

03:45 - Onto next track now, Our Riotous Defects, 

nice piano intro, 

annoying effect on vocals though.

04:10 - This is a bit more like it, nice chorus hook, ridiculous synths and more falsetto! 

04:45 - and now a spoken word verse? Do I like it? I can’t tell

06:00 - I don’t think I like it. In fact, I am now quite annoyed by the spoken word verses

06:45 - You can REALLY hear the production difference. “Skeletal Lamping” was hardly lo-fi, but you can really hear the difference.

07:30 - Pretty dull instrumental break. Not sure about this song either if I’m honest - style over substance perhaps?

09:00 - It’s over, and we’re now onto single Coquet Coquette, which I hated at first but which I quite like now. Finally a bit of respite from the falsetto, which I’m beginning to think should be used sparingly.

11:30 - Another big difference on this album, what with it being recorded in a studio setting with Jon Brion, is the greater use of live instrumentation. I kind of miss the drum machine beats though, who needs live drums?

12:45 - Handclaps and synths to introduce Godly Intersex, sounds promising.

13:50 - Is this a chorus? I’m not that impressed so far I have to say. If I compare this opening salvo to the first four tracks of “Satanic Panic In The Attic” or “Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?” it’s doesn’t even come close.

16:00 - Really, not much to say about that one; not particularly awful but now it’s finished I can’t remember it at all.

16:30 - Enemy Gene sounds a bit better, hope it can lift the album a bit.

18:00 - Vocals from Janelle Monae on this one, nice bit of interplay between her and barnes which ultimately can’t cover up the fact that this is another largely unmemorable track.

19:00 - synth strings>live strings. Why would you switch to real instruments, Kevin, why?

20:20 - Hydra Fancies is another track released from the album early, and an improvement on the last couple of songs, although that’s not saying much.

22:00 - Beginning to get worried though; at the moment I really couldn’t pick a stand out track and I’m nearly halfway through the album. I’m not really enjoying it so far.

23:30 - This is a bit better, Like A Tourist has an awesome intro!

24:00 - “Unicorns eating baby meat” - and awesome lyrics

24:30 - But the falsetto’s back! It’s never bothered me before but for some reason every time Barnes has broken out in it so far this record it’s sounded out of place. Perhaps it’s just me

26:00 - This chorus is too weak for such an awesome intro / verses

27:00 - That was significantly better than the preceeding songs though, here’s hoping for a MUCH better second half.

27:30 - Sex Karma, apparently features Solange Knowles but haven’t heard her yet.

28:30 - This song has the most annoying synth sound I have EVER heard.

30:00 - This album is upsetting me quite a bit, then. Solange doesn’t really add much to this track, but given what she has to work with she’s got a hard job.

31:15 - Segue!! Into a song entitled Girl Called Hello with a Prince-y guitar riff which sounds exactly the same as every Prince-y guitar riff off of “Skeletal Lamping”.

33:20 - Halfway through the track and waiting for some form of progression. It’s just the Prince-y riff over and over again! Verse? Chorus? Bridge? Memorable Hook? C’mon, of Montreal, throw me a bone here!

34:30 - The thing is, it should not be physically possible to be bored while listening to an of Montreal album. But I am very bored. What happened?

35:30 - Famine Affair now, sounding a bit more promising at first with a nice simple bass line and some synth chords.

36:30 - Spoke too soon again, this just sounds really petulant, with Barnes monotonously delivering the lines “I don’t love you any more, I don’t want you any more, go away, go away”. 

38:00 - Just noticed there is a lot of criticism above this text, might follow the maxim of “If you haven’t got anything nice to say, say nothing”, but given the quality of the past 40 minutes would probably mean there was just blank space below.

40:00 - Casualty Of You, a tiny bit better I suppose, a piano led slow one which I usually like (see “Skeletal Lamping“‘s Touched Something Hollow), but not so much in this case

41:00 - I am so disappointed with this album

43:00 - This is more like it, Around The Way opens with some ghostly oooooohs and percussive intro.

44:00 - A bit late in the album to be hitting your stride though! Jesus Fucking Christ! 

44:40 - This sounds the least produced of the tracks so far, and it’s the best so far. Coincidence? Maybe this album is Jon Brion’s fault?

45:00 - Or maybe of Montreal just got shit.

47:00 - And we’re at the album’s last track, You Do Mutilate?

49:00 - And I have nothing to say. I’m in shock. Another song, another attempt to find something to latch onto - a good lyric, a catchy melody, vocals that don’t sound like nails down a blackboard. And again I’m failing.

50:00 - Sudden change in tempo, but still no melody to speak of. 

51:00 - Kevin Barnes is mumbling stuff over the top, I couldn’t give a shit what he’s saying any more.